Why Doesn't God "Come Up"?

Psalm 40:10 "I have not hidden your deliverance within my heart; I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation; I have not concealed your steadfast love and faithfulness from the great congregation."

I’m a pretty passionate person.

I like what I like and I like to share that with people I like (or whoever will listen really).

I recommend a strange variety of music, force my friends to watch stand-up comedians they’ve never heard of, and openly obsess over books/blogs/Pinterest.

None of that, however, compares to how much you’ll hear about my husband, parents, college roommate, friends, or friends’ kids if we sit down for dinner.

All of these things fit seamlessly into conversation, they’re part of my heart so they bubble over; so then why is it that my first love, my truest advocate, my safe place, never seems to come up naturally?

The subject of God draws me up short, I shrink back and turn nonchalant -- always hoping not to offend – and that’s if He even makes it into conversation at all. I could say that it’s because I’m polite and don’t discuss sex, religion, or politics but that’s not true. Maybe I don’t want the other person to feel awkward? Not exactly.

I don’t want me to feel awkward. I don’t want them (anyone at all) to think I’m judgmental or holier-than-thou or a total mess of a hypocrite.

The problem with this line of thinking is that I’m obviously a Christian. Not like I wear a stack of “WWJD?” bracelets, but I went to college for Christian Counseling and Women’s Ministry; most of my friends are either from my Pentecostal university or high school youth group; and, when people ask what I’m working on right now, I’m trying to write a 365-Day Devotional.

All I’m doing by not talking about God in my casual conversations is showing a lack of passion. TheMan, my parents, The Shins, Jim Gaffigan, and on and on are all shown as more important and valuable to me than the God I trust with my life and forever.

So I’m done with that. My God has been too sweet to me during this trial, His Word teams up with Prozac to help me overcome my depression day by day, He shows Himself to be good a hundred ways every day and I’m over being dispassionate about that!

Our lives will always show what we’re passionate about – if you want to know what you’re broadcasting check your Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter – so today, I’m praying that I can show people the loving God who allows a quirky little girl from the middle of nowhere to peak into His glory and who will, clearly, use anyone who is willing as an ambassador.

What are you showing the people you interact with that you’re passionate about? Will you join me today in praying for a heart that bubbles over with talk of God’s goodness?

Glimpsed Glory and The Aunts

This week, I've had the great honor of guest blogging over at Glimpsed Glory!

It's honestly some of my best work & was such a sweet revelation to my soul.

And it lead me to this: God loves His girls; He will not stand for our mistreatment. So if you feel discarded, used, or abandoned, know that He sees and He cares and He's not letting it go. There are so many examples of this in the Bible (Tamar springs right to mind).
He longs to be your safe place. Let Him.
And pray for your sisters, because in some ways we all feel those things and we've all (hopefully unintentionally) caused others to feel them too.
So this week, let's network; let's build each other up; let's love on each other, encourage one another, and be the community -- the sisterhood -- we were made to be.

Which brings me back around to the author of Glimpsed Glory. She and the ladies I refer to as "The Aunts" are such an enormous blessing to me. Not everyone grows up surrounded by such shining examples of loving in the hard times, how fun Christ-centered friendship is, and what it looks like when love has legs; but I did and that's because of you ladies. Thank you.

Quarter-Life Crisis

"For faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see," (Heb 11:1).
The Quarter-Life Crisis is a fairly new concept; it refers to someone in their 20's who is suddenly struggling for a sense of who they are.
And friends, I'm right in the middle of mine.
So many things that used to take up a large part of my identity are over - student, roommate, worker, etc...- and the roles I thought would be starting - master's student, counselor, wife - are kind of on hold.
Because God's grace is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor 12), I'm going to candidly admit something to you: I am sad. And I have been floundering.
I lost track of who I am.
Because my identity should never have been in academics or work or any people/person.
My identity is from God; He says I'm redeemed, chosen, loved, His, and that's enough for me.
Do I still feel a bit directionless? Yes.
But I don't feel pointless or purposeless anymore, because I know that the directions will come in time.
There is no sin in being sad that things are over or on hold; in fact, I think of sadness like an allergic reaction because we were not made to experience loss and allergic reactions aren't willful and therefore aren't sinful. The sin starts when that sadness turns into allowing myself to doubt God for the future, neglect the important things in the present, and not believe that I am who He says I am.
So today I'm going to take my Zyrtec, do my Bible reading, and move forward with the confidence that there are good things planned for my future.